Confessions of a (Barely) Pregnant Woman

My husband and I were thrilled to get a BFP at the end of June.  If all goes well, we will be welcoming the fourth and final member of our little clan into the world in March 2014.  I am overwhelmed with gratitude – as well as a bit of shock that it happened so fast.  As the hormones kick in, however, I’m experiencing some emotions that either aren’t entirely rationale.  

These are my confessions:

I Envy Morning Sickness – Crazy right? At work, I sit close to two pregnant women, both who had to take time of work due to extreme morning sickness.  One was even hospitalized.  I’ve had morning sickness before, and I understand that anyone currently experiencing will deem me insane, but I can’t deny envying them just a tad . Morning sickness is strong confirmation that you’re still pregnant and your HCG levels are rising in tune with a viable pregnancy. Sitting here today – without nausea, without a bump, without even a doctor’s appointment for a few weeks yet – I feel a bit desperate for some hard evidence that my baby is growing.

I Feel like a Fertility Goddess - Intellectually, I appreciate that my fertility is not variable I control. Getting pregnant comes down to luck, and life has taught me that luck changes on a dime. That said, if I’m being completely honest, there is part of me that is beaming inside to think that I conceived during my first month of trying for both of my pregnancies. I turn 36 later this month and the prognosis for easy conception when your 35+ is rather discouraging. Beating the odds (at least for now) makes me feel like

I’m in Denial - I haven't had a solid nights sleep since my daughter was born, almost 18 months ago. Most of the time, it feels like a miracle to make it to work with pants on. I’m already suffering the wear and tear of burning the candle at both ends, so how will I manage with a newborn in the mix? Simple. My new baby will sleep more, cry less, be less demanding, and nurse less compulsively than my first. Logical, right? 

10 Ways Having a Baby Will Change You - Part 2

Your new baby may look tiny, but
her influence on your psyche
is massive!

Every new mom-to-be knows that parenthood changes everything, but in what specific ways will it actually change you? 

In my last post, I shared five ways that motherhood is likely to change your perspective on your body and outer life. Below are five ways having a baby is likely to change your inner psychological and spiritual life ....FOREVER! 

1) Extreme empathy: Empathy is a great quality. When combined with post-partum hormones and emotions, however, it can be crippling. 

During the first 18 months of my daughter's life, North America faced a number of tragic events highlighting the dark side of humanity - events in which perpetrators willfully destroyed or tragically ended the lives of others. In one case, a Phd student took it upon himself to open fire in a movie theatre for no apparent reason, another young boy shot down innocent school children and their teachers, and two brothers bombed completely innocent people.  

While there's another terrifying tail to be heard on the news every day, the Aurora Theatre shooting, Newton Connecticut massacre and Boston Marathon bombings will haunt me forever.  As I write this, I am overwhelmed thinking about a few families in particular whose losses go beyond what any human should have to face in a lifetime.  The emotional overload of knowing that their suffering came willfully at the hands of someone who didn't event know them is often too much to bear. 

10 Ways Having a Baby will Change You - Part 1

My first days with Lexia

At some point in every new mom-to-be's pregnancy, she is certain to hear the words: "You'll never be the same again".  

I never doubted that motherhood would be a life-changing event, but as a pregnant woman, I was desperate to understand exactly what friends and colleagues had in mind when they envisioned my metamorphous. 

The only explanations I ever got were general claims of parenthood begetting new depths of patience and love.  Now that I've made it to the other side of pregnancy, with some time to reflect on being a mom, I'll walk you through an honest account of how parenthood is likely to change you ....FOREVER! 

1) You'll learn to survive with less: The bad news is that parenthood equates to 'going with less'. Sleep is by far the biggest victim of this phenomena, but there are plenty of others. Prepare for less time, less expendable income, less energy and significantly less control over your day. The good news - you will surprise yourself by how well you adapt. The first weeks are extremely hard, but within a few months your physiological processes will adapt to your new reality. You'll figure out how to incorporate baby into your daily 'to do' list and eventually discover that you can thrive on a lot less sleep, time, opportunity than used to. 

2) You may experience 'body pride': It's true that many women have a hard time managing post-partum weight, but there's another, less talked about phenomena you may experience - body pride.