Surprise Sadness - Only 3.5 Months of Pregnancy Left

An interesting side effect of becoming a parent is how it fundamentally changes your personality. Before Lexia was born, I always saw myself as a “two-kids-at-the-very-most”, kind of a woman.

I didn’t want to be the kind of woman who was mostly a “mom” with a career and personal identity that came secondary. I didn’t want to live in a messy house, overtaken by toddler chaos, finding myself running out the door with no makeup and dirty sweatpants. I didn’t want to sacrifice financial comfort and career accomplishments to raise a family.

Then, at the age of 34, I had Lexia ….and the world became a very different place.

Everyday Inspiration - The Influence of Parenting

I just discovered this quote today and it is deeply significant to me. It rings true to my life experience as a child and inspires me as a parent. 

“Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them. They move on. They move away. 

The moments that used to define them are covered by  moments of their own accomplishments.

It is not until much later, that children understand;
their stories and all their accomplishments, 

sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers,                stones upon stones, beneath the water of their lives.” 

― Paulo Coelho

5 Months Pregnant!

I’m now 23 weeks! Feeling very blessed and very pregnant! 

I started to write a 5-month update last week which was all about how terrible I felt. Being so cranky and tired, however, I never managed to finish it and now that I’m back in the blogging mood, I’m feeling quite a bit better! 

It was an adjustment to suddenly be thrust into ‘full-fledged’ pregnancy mode. I swear I woke up on Halloween a full trimester further along than I was the night before. My belly really popped. My abdomen became heavy. I now waddle at the end of the day.  By 3 p.m. my mojo runs out at work. My upper back aches a lot, mostly from sitting at a desk all day.

Now that I’ve had a couple of weeks to adjust to the ‘new normal’ of being a fully pregnant gal, I generally feel pretty great. Keeping energy up is challenging - as is finding time to exercise - but things are so good compared to how they could be. My physical challenges are small compared to what many women face. All signs are pointing to a healthy baby. I am very lucky. 

I can feel this baby moving so much more than I did with my first!  I have an anterior placenta this time too, which means the placenta is at the front, creating a barrier between me and baby. This means that I won’t feel as strong movement or kicks as my posterior-placenta carrying sisters.  I was disappointed when I found out I had an anterior placenta again. I wanted the experience of feeling lots of movement. This little baby isn’t discouraged by the padding between us - I feel him/her squirming around all the time! I love it! Every time baby moves I am reminded of the little miracle inside me and consoled that s/he is doing well. 

5 Month Overview 

Weeks Pregnant:  23

Belly Status:   Anyone who has met me before can tell I’m pregnant although they tend to assume I’m significantly less further along than I am. Strangers still don’t seem to know, which is disappointing because the only alternative is that I’m quite chunky around the middle! 

Main Complaint: Sore upper back at work. Very tired with few opportunities to rest. 

Main Fear:  It will always be the health and wellness of my unborn child, but in terms of specific fears on my mind at the moment, I have to say that I fear never getting a good night's sleep again! Lexia, now 21 months old, was awake and fussy from 3-5 a.m. this morning. How am I going to manage that with a newborn?!  

Main Joy: Feeling baby move! Baby was a busy one last night. I don’t think s/he was too happy that older sister Lexia was crying in the middle of the night!  

Currently Excited About: I’m so excited and joyous to think that our second child will be joining our family in just four months. I know I’ve done this before, but it still seems so magical and incredible! It’s almost hard to believe.