Surprise Sadness - Only 3.5 Months of Pregnancy Left

An interesting side effect of becoming a parent is how it fundamentally changes your personality. Before Lexia was born, I always saw myself as a “two-kids-at-the-very-most”, kind of a woman.

I didn’t want to be the kind of woman who was mostly a “mom” with a career and personal identity that came secondary. I didn’t want to live in a messy house, overtaken by toddler chaos, finding myself running out the door with no makeup and dirty sweatpants. I didn’t want to sacrifice financial comfort and career accomplishments to raise a family.

Then, at the age of 34, I had Lexia ….and the world became a very different place.

5 Months Pregnant!

I’m now 23 weeks! Feeling very blessed and very pregnant! 

I started to write a 5-month update last week which was all about how terrible I felt. Being so cranky and tired, however, I never managed to finish it and now that I’m back in the blogging mood, I’m feeling quite a bit better! 

It was an adjustment to suddenly be thrust into ‘full-fledged’ pregnancy mode. I swear I woke up on Halloween a full trimester further along than I was the night before. My belly really popped. My abdomen became heavy. I now waddle at the end of the day.  By 3 p.m. my mojo runs out at work. My upper back aches a lot, mostly from sitting at a desk all day.

Now that I’ve had a couple of weeks to adjust to the ‘new normal’ of being a fully pregnant gal, I generally feel pretty great. Keeping energy up is challenging - as is finding time to exercise - but things are so good compared to how they could be. My physical challenges are small compared to what many women face. All signs are pointing to a healthy baby. I am very lucky. 

I can feel this baby moving so much more than I did with my first!  I have an anterior placenta this time too, which means the placenta is at the front, creating a barrier between me and baby. This means that I won’t feel as strong movement or kicks as my posterior-placenta carrying sisters.  I was disappointed when I found out I had an anterior placenta again. I wanted the experience of feeling lots of movement. This little baby isn’t discouraged by the padding between us - I feel him/her squirming around all the time! I love it! Every time baby moves I am reminded of the little miracle inside me and consoled that s/he is doing well. 

5 Month Overview 

Weeks Pregnant:  23

Belly Status:   Anyone who has met me before can tell I’m pregnant although they tend to assume I’m significantly less further along than I am. Strangers still don’t seem to know, which is disappointing because the only alternative is that I’m quite chunky around the middle! 

Main Complaint: Sore upper back at work. Very tired with few opportunities to rest. 

Main Fear:  It will always be the health and wellness of my unborn child, but in terms of specific fears on my mind at the moment, I have to say that I fear never getting a good night's sleep again! Lexia, now 21 months old, was awake and fussy from 3-5 a.m. this morning. How am I going to manage that with a newborn?!  

Main Joy: Feeling baby move! Baby was a busy one last night. I don’t think s/he was too happy that older sister Lexia was crying in the middle of the night!  

Currently Excited About: I’m so excited and joyous to think that our second child will be joining our family in just four months. I know I’ve done this before, but it still seems so magical and incredible! It’s almost hard to believe. 

Holy Heat Wave - How Motherhood Changed my Internal Thermostat

Okay, “heat wave” may be a bit of an exaggeration. We’ve been experiencing highs of about 28 degrees Celsius over the last week, but with humidity that makes it “feel like” anything between 32 and 38. 

I used to live for weather like this.  All year long, I would shiver in sweaters, consoling myself that summer humidity would breathe the life back into my chilled bones soon.  I attributed my comfort with high temperatures to being born in July (in the middle of an actual heat wave. no less) as, while others withered around me as the mercury continued to rise, I seemed to thrive. For me, extreme sunshine came with improved moods, elevated energy levels, and improved physicality. I’d usually even drop a few pounds each summer without really trying. 

Unfortunately, this lifelong passion for high temperatures has been stolen by motherhood.  I am now 11 weeks pregnant while continuing to nurse my 18 month old. I deduce that this must be the hormonal equivalent of being menopausal because all I feel is hot, hot, HOT! 

Suddenly blasting sunshine is an energy thief.  Every morning I wish for cooler temperatures so that my daughter and I can have a productive day outdoors.  Every night I break into an uncomfortable hot flash that make me long for a crisp October evening. 

All the unenviable conditions of first-trimester pregnancy are so much worse in the heat. Be it nausea, fatigue, dizzy spells or hot flashes, sometimes I think that all I need to feel better is crisp, cool air! 

Bring on sweet fall weather!